You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
4 words: hood of his car
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
