Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
