My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
