I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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