If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
