I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
