I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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