i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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