I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
