brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your cock deserves a montage
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
