It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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