after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
