im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
