New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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