now i know why i became what i already was.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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