i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
