Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
