How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
