he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
