Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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