Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
