very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
