Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So vagazzling was a success
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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