I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize