just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
they need to just BURY HIM!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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