New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
