Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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