whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
