The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
