Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
