Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
