Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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