The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
