Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
