i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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