Non-Jews are for practice
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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