we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
