ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
