things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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