Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
