ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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