My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
