She said her name was "party"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
