He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize