do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
