Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
