So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
