How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
