Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
