dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
