I can tuck mytits in my pants
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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