"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
