Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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