I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
