My room smells like vodka and shame
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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