their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
