i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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