So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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