I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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