And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
