I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
