also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Please, let me fuck your mom
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
