and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
