he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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