My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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