did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
