So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
organizing the empties. That sober.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
