At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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