I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
