tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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