He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize