Yo dont text me then not text me
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
