trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize