so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
