He is an equal opportunity slut.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How does one acquire holy water?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize