This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize